Revisiting My Reflective Journal

It's been awhile since I wrote this online reflective journal. I've revisited it, as I was instructed to remove the children's names for the sake of confidentiality.

I say this without any ounce of sarcasm or bad feelings: 

I apologise if the way I wrote was inappropriate, and jeapordised anybody's confidentiality. 

I did check beforehand, as I too was concerned about using first names. In the end I did so because more than one authoritative source informed me it was acceptable for my reflective journal. Also, it allowed me to remember more vividly the experiences and connections I had with the people I was writing about, even years down the line.

I'm a very forgetful person, so it's with no small amount of sadness that I removed the children's names from the posts. I'm not pretending that I frequently read my reflective journal and reminisce about my time there. But I did look at it occasionally, and I still have very fond memories of the place and the people there.

Unfortunately those fond memories will fade all the more faster now that the names have been removed. At least I had one last heartwarming read through all the posts, remembering all the lovely children that I wrote about. Hope you're all doing well, wherever you are!

Entry #30, 1 December 2009

December is here, and the setting has brought out all the Christmas decorations and music. Most of the children were interested in the Christmas tree which was set up in the ICT room. It had empty boxes which were gift-wrapped, which were particularly of interest to S'r.

B'a has begun using her injured hand. She still refuses to get it wet though. Previously, when it was time for the children to wash her hands, I have repeatedly tried to convince her to wash her injured hand as well, at which she refused outright.

Today however, after her initial refusal, I asked her if her hand would be dirty if she didn't wash it. She replied yes, and I asked if she would like her hand to be dirty, to which she replied no. I asked if she would like to wash it just a little then. She replied "Yea, wash it just a little", and slowly moved her injured hand toward the running water. Before her hand got wet however, she withdrew her hand, and said "No!" in a distressed manner. I told her it was OK, and that we'd wash her injured hand another time, maybe tomorrow then, and she calmed down.

I was asked to try to get S'r to sleep again today. It was mostly a repeat of the previous day, a wrestling match of nearly half an hour. Towards the end of the half an hour though, I tried humming to S'r. I don't know if he had finally tired out, or it was the effect of the humming, but he calmed down and lay still in my arms. He finally fell asleep, and I placed him on the mattress.

I felt a sense of achievement that I managed to get S'r to sleep, then I thought the other staff members probably do it every single day, so it was probably actually not a big deal. However, when I told S'r's room leader that he was asleep, her face lit up, she gestured triumphantly with her hand and went "YES!", which revived my little sense of achievement.

Moving Forward

When B'a told me she would wash her injured hand, I felt that she was gaining more trust in me. Hopefully she'll be back to treating her hand as normal, although unfortunately I probably won't be around for the remainder of her recovery process.

I was excited that S'r had gone to sleep during my humming. It left me eager for another go at putting him to sleep, so that I could try humming again. The other staff members would surely be elated if the humming technique proved effective in calming S'r.

Entry #29, 30 November 2009

While I was in the kitchen preparing drink bottles, L'e ran to me, grabbed my leg and shouted with a big smile, "Mark!". He then started saying what sounded like "Marky Marky!", perhaps in response to the way he is usually called L'y D'y.

The children seemed unusually unsettled today. In particular, B'a cried a lot, and even requested that I carry her. When K'm saw this, he too ran to me crying and requested to be carried as well. Even F'n was a bit cranky today, and he's normally perfectly cheerful.

The cold weather didn't help. Despite freezing temperatures, the children were still sent for outdoor play, and some even said things like "Cold! Go in! Go in!".

I was asked to try and get S'r to sleep today. Normally when a child is being put to sleep, they are placed on the bed and "patted off". They're not permitted to get up off the bed; if they do so, we either verbally request that they lie down (which they usually comply with), or we lie them down ourselves. This method wouldn't work with S'r.

S'r's normally very calm, in fact he's outright cheerful. However when he doesn't get his way, he throws a tantrum, screaming and kicking about, and he's rather big and strong. It seems S'r didn't feel like sleeping yet, so far half an hour, it felt like I was wrestling with him. At one point he even crawled under a table, and latched on VERY firmly with his hands and legs. After an exhausting half an hour, I was told to just leave him be, as he clearly wasn't going to bed.

Moving Forward

The children's daily routine normally follows a schedule, so that their can be some consistency and also so they can get used to things, but surely there should be some measure of flexibility. It would be rather subjective though.

It's clear cut when many children are saying they're cold and want to go in. But what if it's only one child? Or if a child says he doesn't want to do whatever it is everyone else is doing, i.e. sit at the table, eat, listen to a story?

S'r's behaviour is probably enforced by the fact that he's normally allowed to do as he pleases, as long as he stays in the same room as the other children, and he's not thrashing the place. Therefore he's not used to not getting his way, and reacts accordingly. He also seems to have his own schedule apart from the other children, which depends upon his mood. It's at times like that, it is apparent why some children require 1 to 1 attention.

Entry #28, 27 November 2009

When K'n was dropped off, as soon as the front door was opened, his dad just pushed him in, shoved his bag at the staff member, went "Bye!" and ran off.

S'r lined up some numbers perfectly in sequence from 1-10. I'd always heard about him doing it, but this was the first time I'd seen him do it. In comparison, the other children are unable to recognise the numbers from 1-10, much less line them up in sequence.

There were some geometric shapes which connect together, so I put them out for S'r to see if he'd be interested in them. He didn't construct anything of his own, so I made him some shapes to see if he would be interested. He took interest in a cube, carrying it around, and repeatedly asking me to open and close it. At times he would wander around the room for an get an object to place within the cube.

It rained heavily today, but the children were still sent outdoors to play. Almost every single one of them got wet, and required a change of clothes.

Moving Forward

Staff members usually comment that during a drop off, parents should just leave their kids and go, rather than lingering around which causes the child distress. What happened with K'n seemed rather inappropriate though.

Kids should be allowed to experience as much as possible, and thus a little rainy weather shouldn't keep them from going outside to play. In fact, ideally I feel they should even be allowed to run in puddles and mud (properly dressed of course). However, maybe outdoor play could be skipped once in a while, if all the children are going to end up getting soaked.

Entry #27, 26 November 2009

Olivia and Chloe from the 1-2s room were with us today. They seemed extremely unsettled today.

Olivia had moments of calm, but was frequently in tears, calling out for not Mum or Dad, but for Marge, the staff member from upstairs. Chloe started the morning alright, but may have been unsettled by Olivia's distressed. As the day went on, she cried a lot as well, calling out for both Marge and Daddy.

I was advised against picking them up to soothe them, as they were meant to get used to the new environment on their own, thus building their self-confidence and independence.

Luke proved incredibly proficient in making guns out of Lego bricks. He stacked them up together with ease, and ran around the room, pointing his creation at everything and going "DSH! DSH! DSH!". I thought this was standard behaviour for a boy, but a staff member said that guns were not allowed, and kept telling him to disassemble it, sometimes doing it herself. It only took Luke mere seconds to reassemble another gun though.

Moving Forward

The standard policy is for transitioning children to be accompanied by a member of staff that they are familiar with. However, this may not have been possible today due to staff illness. Previously, members of staff they were familiar with did indeed accompany them into the room, and they were far less unsettled.

I remember in my previous work setting as well, that the children were not allowed to have pretend guns. How odd, I'm sure everyone I know, male or female, grew up playing with pretend swords and guns. As far as I know, none of them have turned out to be vicious psychopaths so far.

Entry #26, 25 November 2009

I was off ill today. Unlike in Malaysia, if your ill for just a few days, you don't actually need a Medical Certificate.

When I went into work the next day, there was another member of staff who clearly wasn't feeling well either. When asked why she was in, she said she'd feel guilty if she just didn't turn up. The assistant manager sent her home anyway.

Moving Forward

While I initially felt a pang of guilt because of the other staff's dedication, in retrospect I feel that calling in sick is better than turning up sick. When you call in sick, management is given advance warning to plan the day around a shortfall of staff. If you turn up sick, that advance warning is taken away, and what's worse, you're very likely to perform your duties ineffectively, as well as passing your illness on to others.

Nurseries are a breeding ground for germs, and it's not uncommon for a simple flu to just continually be passed round and round.

Entry #25, 24 November 2009

A Good Behaviour Board was introduced yesterday, with the awards of tidiness, good behaviour and helpfulness. Some of the children may actually be behaving well to earn the awards. B'a and F'n seemed keen on being tidy, while L'e even helped a staff member dispose of things in the bin. I think F'n was already trying to be more of a tidy person even before the board was introduced though.

S'r seemed to be singing today. He hummed a bit, made smacking noises with his mouth, and then repeated the whole tune again and again. He also knew that there was cake on a high shelf, and he pulled on my hand, moving it towards the cake. When I refused to get it for him, he tried to climb up himself. He also spelled "DUMP" with some wooden alphabets, I wonder if that had any significance.

Two workmen were doing some structural work. The children were very interested in what they were doing and the noise they were making. Unfortunately, the workmen didn't seem to take extra precautions with where they were. Their tools and equipment were just left lying all over the building.

I found 2 large screws on the ground where they'd finished their work, and a child even got his hands on a hammer before I grabbed it off him. There were also power drills around, but I suppose they weren't plugged in, and wouldn't be accessed by the children unless they wandered very far.

Moving Forward

The Good Behaviour Board seems to be doing the job of enforcing good behaviour. I wonder if the children are too young to properly grasp the concept. Normally I see that kind of thing in the 3-4s, as opposed to the 2-3s room I'm in.

I wonder if the workmen were given any special instructions to be more careful in the nursery? Last week there was a professional photographer, who seemed to behave rather oddly. He used harsh language openly in front of the children, and the younger children were even distressed by him!